The White Peril 白禍

I'd bet I was the last gay man with an Internet connection to be turned on to this set of videos on You Tube. Part 1 is a better crack high if you want fast-burning fuel for queeny comments: though it's hard to blame her for recommending silhouettes that plenty of other people thought were hot back then, you get the feeling that she's not even aware matte-finished fabric exists.

But Part 2 is, to me, more deeply and genuinely horrifying. First of all, the way the woman handles a slotted spoon and unceremoniously plunks that banana into the blender makes it abundantly clear that she couldn't find her way around her kitchen without GPS navigation (sadly unavailable in the late '80s). Second--given the flinty glint in her eye and her pasted-on, curled-lip smile while she gives dietary advice--you just know she's standing there thinking, I COULD MURDER A STEAK AND BAKED POTATO RIGHT NOW! MY GRANDMOTHER'S SOUL FOR A RIBEYE!!!!!

The not-so-surprise update to the story is that, to judge from her website, Ms. Dickson has enrolled in the beauty maintenance program at the Joan Rivers School. A real pity. She had the bone structure to age with character.